Modern Love – A pandemic full of narcissistic lonely people 

Olivia Vallada, press for Cirqular

Being single is fashion right now. Life is just more simple when not having to commit to anyone. Having more people to choose between also seems to be the more “fun” option. But is a trouble-free life the best way of living?

We would rather be lonely and have different people fill up our void from time to time when isolation becomes too much than being in a relationship. But after the intimacy and passion is over with your one-night-stand and you return home, you find yourself being lonely again. 

Is life easier by yourself?

Think about it. Surely, life is much simpler living by yourself, not having to compromise with anyone, making your own rules, but is that more fun? Some people say they have commitment issues and that is the reason for them not being in a relationship, but I say they are just too comfortable in their present lifestyle and don’t want to adapt to anyone else, and especially not having to care about someone else’s feelings. Yes, it is easier, but loneliness may be the price they have to pay. 

Surely, life is much simpler living by yourself, not having to compromise with anyone, making your own rules, but is that more fun?

One problem of this generation is that people are becoming way too demanding. They expect a partner to be perfect, not only regarding their looks but also regarding their history. I am sorry to break it to you, but everyone has had problems and no one wakes up looking as good as they do on Instagram. You will always find someone prettier, stronger and smarter. Just look at Tinder, the options on finding new people are endless. But what is life if you constantly search for something better? You will never be satisfied. 

People let their ego take over. Egocentric people don’t have consideration for others nor patience. Some may be afraid of what others may think of their partner or they simply think they will find someone better. This has created a society full of narcissistic and lonely people. 

The more alone a person is, the more addicted the person becomes to loneliness (social phobia). And I don’t blame them since we today have the urban equipment we need to live alone. The corona crisis has just proven this. You can do nearly everything from home, and when the loneliness becomes overwhelming, you can just pick up your phone and talk to someone, and after that return to your solitude again.

Is the perception of the perfect love just an imagination?

So what is the problem with our generation?  Even when they actually want to find someone they can’t. Since many of them have only cared about fulfilling their own needs and satisfaction, they don’t know how to deal with someone else’s. People want someone to fill their void, but their perception of this person isn’t real, it is just an imagination. Real people have defects, feelings and problems. More people are therefore turning to safer things, such as their careers, again just focusing on themselves. But at the same time, I get it, uncertainty is not fun. You never know 100% how a relationship will go and living life in fear, is very tiring.

People want someone to fill their void, but their perception of this person isn’t real, it is just an imagination.

I believe there are some people who prefer being by themselves, but they are a minority. But my point is not if it is right or wrong being by yourself. My point is that we today live in a pandemic of loneliness due to narcissism, selfishness and the lack of generosity. If our generation would add more empathy and start putting others’ happiness first, I believe many things would change.

By allowing other people into your life may cut back on some of your freedom, but there is so much more to gain from it. We are all social beings who need human contact. 

Olivia Vallada studies politics and IR in London. She has a passion for the environment, societal issues but also color and form, which is reflected in her practice at the newly started online vintage store Cirqular.

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